10 Signs That Your Film is Not Going to Win the KVFF Crystal Globe

Steve Fisher


1.    It's in 3D.

2.    It stars Arnold Schwarzenegger and Chuck Norris.

3.    It's a sequel to last summer's special effects blockbuster.

4.    It's a love story involving vampires, werewolves, aliens, wizards, transforming robots, or zombies.

5.    Its first ten minutes is just a series of animated logos of all the companies that produced it.

6.    The best part of it is the hilarious outtakes during the end credits.

7.    It's just two hours of you talking to the camera about your recent colonoscopy.

8.    It's an American remake of a French film.

9.    Its official media partners are Blesk and TV Nova.

10.    It tells the tragic story of a heroic Czech Member of Parliament and former Minister of Health who is tricked by evildoers into accepting a seven-million-crown bribe in a wine box.