10 Signs That the Russians Have Taken Over Karlovy Vary

1.    Hotel breakfasts in Karlovy Vary now offer Fabergé eggs.

2.    New spa treatment involves drinking three liters of vodka daily.

3.    The most common name in Karlovy Vary is now Ivan Novakov.

4.    New tourist guide to Karlovy Vary is 940 pages long, with frequent references to doomed love, madness and suicide.

5.    Mrazík now spends most of his time in the heated pool at the Hotel Thermal.

6.    Exploratory drilling for new thermal spring led to discovery of vast oil and natural gas reserves worth hundreds of billions of Euro.

7.    All local media report that the city government is doing an "excellent job," with no corruption whatsoever, and that Karlovy Vary's five-year plan is right on schedule.

8.    Voter turnout in last local election was 106%.

9.    The mayor of Karlovy Vary was recently seen riding a horse shirtless.

10.    While operating on an 88-year-old grandmother at Karlovy Vary Regional Hospital, surgeons found another, smaller 88-year-old grandmother inside of her, and another one inside of that one…