Refreshing New Czech Summer Cocktails
It's hot out there! And that means it's the perfect time to enjoy a cool and tasty cocktail at a rooftop bar in the city or on the terrace of your cottage in the country.
The world of cocktails is constantly evolving, with exciting new ones being invented all the time in honor of noteworthy people and events. Here's a brief guide to some of our favorites.
RATH WHINE SPRITZER
This summer delight is one of the easiest to make and requires just two basic ingredients which most people have readily available at home:
2dl wine
3dl soda water
What? You don't have any wine? Are you sure? Didn't someone just give you a box of wine as a gift? Really? And there was no wine in it? How strange. Well, have you tried looking around your home? In your cupboards? In your pantry? How about under your floorboards?
Don't give up. Keep looking. Perhaps there's some underneath all that cash and those automatic weapons.
PARKANOVÁ PUNCH
Alhough a bit pricey, this luxurious concoction is guaranteed to quench your thirst for exorbitant and unnecessary air transport. All you need is the following:
3.6 billion Czech crowns
4 CASA C-295M airplanes
5 L-159 fighters
Once you have all the necessary ingredients, just mix them all together yourself. Don't bother using one of those fancy "tenders". They're just for sissies. You will need to add a dash of Perfunctory Approval, which you hopefully have in your cabinet.
Then relax and enjoy! Pretty soon you'll be singing songs of your own invention to the tune of "Good afternoon, Mr. Gagarin."
BÉMTON
You don't have to climb Mt. Everest in order to cool off on a hot summer day.
This intoxicating cocktail is not only delicious, it's also mysterious. In fact, we can't even tell you what's in it. To obtain the recipe, you need to call a special hotline at 900-JANOUSEK, whereupon a professional mixologist will tell you over the phone exactly what you need to do, as well as precisely how and when.
Be ready. The mixologist may actually ask you to "suggest" one or two ingredients for him to choose from. And don't be surprised if he asks you to refer to him as "kitten" or "pet".
MO-VÍT-O
If you're looking for the perfect summer cocktail for seducing that special someone, then this is the drink for you. It's also a bit on the pricey side, ranging anywhere from 170,000 to a half-million crowns each, depending on whom you're trying to get into bed with you.
And if your guest thinks it's inappropriate to accept such an expensive drink from you, just tell her or him to think of it as a "loan".
That's all for now. By this point, you're probably not only thirsty but also in need of a good stiff drink. We know how you feel.
Happy sipping!
