Thanks for your comments!

Unfortunately, I don't have the time to respond to each and every reader's comment, so I thought it would be a good idea to share and respond to some of them here.  

I've chosen some examples which are the most typical in terms of their content and sentiment, and I've made them anonymous in order to avoid embarrassing anyone.

Here's the first and most common:

Dear Mr. Fisher,

You're an idiot.

Regards,

P. V.

Now, the thing that I most appreciate about this truly honest and heartfelt message is its brevity. Like many people these days, I am often overwhelmed by having to read countless e-mails daily.

Someone less considerate than this reader might have gone on at length about how much of an idiot they think I am, e.g. "the biggest goddamned idiot that ever walked the face of the earth,"  or even used some colorful metaphor, e.g. "dumb as a post," "not the brightest bulb in the chandelier" or "someone with his head shoved so far up his ass that he needs a glass stomach to see where he's going." So, I have to commend this reader for his thoughtfulness in keeping his message as short and succinct as possible.

Here's another:

Dear Mr. Fisher,

I don't know whether you received my last e-mail, but in case you didn't, you're an idiot.

Regards,

P. V.

Again, I can only appreciate this writer's consideration, this time in wanting to ensure that his previous message did not get overlooked. My only problem with P.V.'s second message is his addition of the condition "…in case you didn't, you're an idiot," which could be interpreted as meaning that my being an idiot actually depends on whether or not I received his previous e-mail. A bit confusing.

Here's one more:

Dear Mr. Fisher,

Your last article was not as bad as the one before it, which was mostly shit, and also the one before that, which was complete shit.

Warmest regards,

J. M.

Ahh! A regular reader! This is especially gratifying.

Another:

Dear Mr. Fisher,

Your so-called "humor" is a poor imitation of the early 1970s Czech writer Vojtěch Steklač as well as being derivative of the 1960s French literary duo of Rene Goscinny and Jean Jacques Sempé. Despite ErnstHaeckel's theory that "ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny", your pedestrian formulations of…

This brilliant critique actually continued on for 12 pages of single-spaced text. Unfortunately, I only made it through its first 26 paragraphs before accidentally deleting it when my head hit the keyboard of my computer.

More to the point was this one:

Dear asshole,

You suck.

Fuck you,

B.T.

Once again, like P.V. before him, B.T. utilizes a brief, direct, simple, uncluttered, declarative prose style. And notice the repeated use of the word "you". That's the kind of personal touch which is often missing from some other readers' correspondence, like this one:

Dear customer,

We are now offering calling to the Czech Republic from all EU countries for just 3,90 Kč per minute. Activation of our special new calling package is free...

You see what I mean? That reader – whom I'll identify only as "O.2." – didn't really seem to be talking about me or about my articles at all. Instead, it's all about them, them, them.

Oh, well. To all of you who have taken the time to express your thoughts, my deepest thanks.  Please keep writing. 

For fastest delivery, write to me at: info@o2.cz